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Josh Retired
I'm sick. I've only been seriously sick once before which made the abruptness of my ailment much harsher than I would have hoped. I started with a burning pain in my throat, I then moved on to an asphxyiating clog in my sinuses, and then a severe case of sinusitis put me in a corner of an dark, empty room with a sheet over my little legs as would be appropriate for a leper. I exxagerate. Still, it hurts terribly and I wish my medication would give me more alleviation. I feel like a granny.
But there is good news as my affliction has given me ample time to watch both seasons of The Office and I am now obsessed. Does any one want to talk about it? Say, around the water cooler? I'll make sure Dwight isn't around.

I'm not funny at all!
Aubrey's being nice and I think she's just antsy because she can't come up with anything to do without me, being that I am super fun.
I've spent a small amount of time on livejournal and myspace which has given me cause to say that people in general are absolutely ridiculous. Can people actually write these things, read it over, and not want to delete it in utter frustration? I should probably read and then delete this post, but I'm sick.

Oh yeah! I also have a temporary lazy eye! Aubrey has pictures!
Josh Retired
08 June 2006 @ 06:12 pm
Aubrey!!! Pay attention to me! I'm bored! I am so BORED! I'm going to read and then I won't stop. I read all night and then you'll be bored!
Sounds: One Great City!
Josh Retired
29 May 2006 @ 12:08 am
Aubrey and I just got back from the Dark-side of the Moon Laser Light show. It was awesome but I felt like hallucinogenics were missing.
Last night we went and saw the new X-Men movie and it was ok but the family that annoyed us is worth mentioning more than the movie. This family is the only example of me hating someone. I've never had a situation where I couldn't rationalize someone's shitty behavior before. I've always said, "Well ok, maybe they're just having a tough day or maybe I just didn't understand" but these smug anuses have no excuse. Even before we were inside the theater they annoyed us by blocking the entrance, then they almost filled a row in such a specific way that Aubrey and I couldn't sit together, after that they walked by us forcing us to lift our legs no less than five times, later their four year old [I won't even add how ridiculous it is that a four year old was at an eleven o'clock, PG-13 movie] kept humming, talking, and standing up throughout the entire movie, the parents had repeated conversations during the movie, and there final transgression was when they left the theater ten minutes before the movie ended just so they didn't have to wait in the twenty second line to get out. When I saw them outside the movie waiting near the bathrooms I was so tempted to say something mean, throw popcorn at them, tackle them, or anything just to relieve the anxieties I had because of this absurd family. Damn them.
I've been feeling nostalgic for the ease and stability of high school. I think it stems mostly from seeing and hearing about so many of our graduating class not fulfilling the grandiose dreams they stated as their futures when they graduated. Aubrey and I discussed it and we decided that it's even more depressing because even when we joked about people failing this or that and their outrageous pipe dreams we still hold a glimmer of hope that somehow things will work out for them. We assume that somehow things will work out and they'll just accomplish all of their goals, but it's slowly dawning on us that it's been two years and a good sum of the said people haven't progressed at all. Sure, they're not living horrible lives or anything but they're no where near achieving the stated goals they produced. It's just awkward I guess.
I still think Aubrey is the most amazing girl in my world so I suppose somethings never change. Have I changed?
Never used: Fitter Clappier
Sounds: Moose Lodge
Josh Retired
For anyone who hasn't heard of Hard 'n Phirm, hasn't seen this video, or just loves PI.
"No Steve not pie, PI!"
"My name's Steve!"
Steve is also the first to die.

Josh Retired
21 May 2006 @ 02:50 am
This does not make us adorabe:
This is a lot smaller on my screenCollapse )

I just liked this one:
This tooCollapse )
Josh Retired
13 May 2006 @ 12:00 pm
I think it's funny when losers use curse words excessively in an attempt to seem... cooler? I'm all for curse words. What else would we use for expletives, fudge? It's only when people use them too much that they lose meaning and become ridiculous. You can usually spot people with poor self confidence by this trait. "Hey bitches!", "What are you fuck-wads doing?", and "I would kick that bitch in the shit because he's a fuck-wad" are all good signs of a loser with poor self confidence. I get it, you feel shitty about yourself. Don't bring everyone else down with you. Fucker.

P.S. I am gay
Josh Retired
08 May 2006 @ 09:24 pm
David Blaine is Johnny Knoxville for housewives.... Chaaaaaa.
Josh Retired
04 May 2006 @ 12:23 pm
There's another movie involving six to seven innocent and fun going 17-24 year olds being stuck in a house with one or two deranged psychopath(s). Personally I hate formulas.

I can't really think of anything. I'm pretty hungry.

Xtra shit nstuf(formerly appurtenance before Aubrey crapped on my parade):

Josh Retired
03 May 2006 @ 04:39 am
Oh my god guys it's totally 4:30 and I'm still up mymomisgoingtokillmehahahahahahahah!

I submit this quick list of recent occurrences in my life:
There is no food item that cannot be purchased at Denny's.
Aubrey and I were the only ones laughing during the dramatic scenes of "Stick It!". This worries me; were the other people there damaged goods or are we the malfunctioned products?
Even though the waitress was overtly drunk we still tipped her because she did a decent job.
I'm such a jerk off for liking jazz. "JAzz MuSic is SOOO CooL. Did I TeLl yOu I like JAzzzzzz?"
Today I had a fruit yogurt, two smoothies, a banana, and a Cherry Bling[it counts]. My seminal fluid tastes fantastic!
Aubrey made me ponder the question "Can fat girls really be life guards if they're killing themselves with obesity?"
6/8 time is where it's at. I say this because I've started drumming in different time signatures in an attempt, a failed attempt, to be good.
I didn't fail college algebra; in my own esteem I basically conquered Stephen Hawking's wheel chair.


I'm afraid of being one of those people that when somebody does something stupid or screwy someone else says, "Way to go Josh Ryan! Hahahahahah!"
I'm pretty cool.
Josh Retired
28 April 2006 @ 07:39 pm
I finally found a quote I can live my life by:
"I could let me old APness slip in and break it down in it's ways those times are things I don't like, so I'll stick to the more simple version of it, I like it, the whole food-art idea is great, and I myslef have been caught in awe of it's beauty before too."
Sounds: Night and Day